Seventeen
That's how many people we'll be hosting for Christmas dinner this year. The number could go as high as 19, if Husband's cousin and her new husband decide to come.
I've never had that many people in my house at once. Ever.
I'm not overly concerned about putting dinner together for all those people. I'm pretty good in the kitchen and my not having a full time job means that I'll be able to do a lot of preparation ahead of time. Besides, I'm sure that a lot of my guests will be more than happy to bring anything I ask them for.
No, my biggest worries continue to be how the two different families are going to get along. Well, that's not entirely the truth: I'm sure everyone will be perfectly lovely when they're all together in my house. What I'm not sure about - and what I suppose I shouldn't worry about because I can't control it anyway - is what's going to happen after everyone goes home.
I'm concerned that there'll be fallout from my in-laws, who don't get that my family is really my family.
I'm also concerned that there won't be enough room in our driveway for all the cars.
posted by Mrs. Chili at 3:04 PM
7 Comments:
This is going to sound flippant, but... what's the worst that can happen?
From what I know of you, and your inlaws, I am pretty certain you can handle anything they can dish out. Especially given that you know your actions are grounded in your love for your Family and your respect for Husband's. The inlaws might not get your definition of Family. That's okay, as long as they do understand that it includes them and the people they care about, that it doesn't stop there is beside the point. Am I oversimplifying things?
I dread having these large family meals at my house. You are braver than i am.
Just think of the great stories you might get out of it.
I don't think you're being flippant at all, J.
The worst that can happen is that my in-laws make things difficult for my husband and me until at least Easter, maybe longer, and that they set themselves on making their remaning Christmases a PITA for us. I'm hoping that WON'T happen, but I wouldn't be surprised if it did.
In the grand scheme, you're right. I can handle anything they can dish out. I'm trying to be sensitive, though, to the fact that we're the only local children and we should really put out as much effort to keep the relationship as healthy as possible, given that the responsibility for caring for them when they can no longer care for themselves is likely to fall to us. Further - and more importantly - I want to make the holidays memorable for my children. I want to give them a good, solid foundation on which to base their OWN traditions, and I'm hoping that WON'T include lessons on how to navigate pain-in-the-ass old people. (Husband and I have already SWORN to be as flexible as possible with our girls when we pass them the proverbial torch for things like this).
Oh, and Meno? Just you WAIT for the stories!! I've got a GREAT story that spans Thanksgiving AND Christmas from a few years back. I'll post it after this Thanksgiving - it's going to take me a while to compose it in all the detail it's worthy of.
Sigh. I may need to do more yoga between the 23rd of November and the 24th of December...
The best thing you could do for the girls is to relax and ENJOY it. Easier said than done, I know. The holidays are supposed to be about coming together in joy and fellowship. Try to let it happen and be happy for the opportunity and your ablitiy to do it.
The memories I have of holidays are all about stress and putting on a show so that the 'loved ones' would not be able to see what life is really like. Don't want to have our slip showing! The actual putting on of the dinner was surprisingly and admirable smooth but the the back biting and showmanship still makes me wish there were no holidays. Just imagine the year we were blessed with an unexpected extra person with whom to share the hoiday joy.
Give the girls the knowledge of what true genrosity of spirit and the sharing of your blessings can be.
I guess I'm really not sure what all the drama is about. I believe that everyone on the guest list is capable of behaving well, and the stories after? Well, everyone is entitled to their opinion of how the day went. You're already stirring the pot whether you realize it or not.
I agree with JRH - if everything that you do and say comes from a place of love and respect for all those gathered, then people will enjoy themselves, relax and BEHAVE themselves. You will have gone to a LOT of trouble to welcome all into a joyful and welcoming environment and they'll step up to the plate, you'll see.
I think the first hurdle is over and done with. If you got 17 yeses then that means that, on some level, most everyone is OK with it.
While I think that everyone involved is capable of behaving nicely I think there may be some level of ick on the day itself. It reminds me a lot of visiting my mom's family. I mean, yes, everyone had fun and was pleasant and we all helped to mash the carnip (blech!) and everything else but it was always clear in the topics of conversation, in the values expressed that my dad and I (and my mom for choosing us) didn't belong.
I guess what I'm getting at is that there's no such thing as perfect. It'll be a nice time and there will be good memories and that's the best we're ever going to get and it's pretty good, some people don't even get that. But there'll be some shit, too, which is to be expected, you just have to take it all together.
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