Thursday, December 01, 2005

But, Officer....!!

So, I remember posting some time ago about how cruise control is the magic decoder ring for idiots. I got to see it in action today.

My drive home from work is about twenty minutes' worth of two lane highway followed by about fifteen minutes of two lane state road followed by about five minutes of surface street. I was about five or so minutes into my higway trip when a state police officer pulled on to the highway slightly in front of me. I was in the left lane, cruise control set at my typical 72ish miles an hour, which I didn't alter in the slightest with the arrival of my new road companion. The cop got onto the highway, sped up, and took up position a tiny bit faster than me, where he remained for the next ten or so minutes.

Round about ten minutes to go in the trip, some fool in a pickup truck comes FLYING up the left lane and attempts to crawl up my butt. Being the consciencious and alert driver that I am, I yielded the left lane to him (all while chuckling quietly to myself - I know more than he does at this he comes, Officer; GOOOO GIT 'EM!!!) and he, in true idiot form, blew my doors off. I'm pretty sure he was busy admiring his handiwork in the rear-view, because he didn't notice that the state cop had also pulled into the right lane until it was MUCH too late.

It's dark here at about four thirty, so I saw all this in the glow of tail lights, but I know for SURE that testosterone-laden Pickup Boy hit his brakes pretty hard, because those tail lights jumped up a bit with his shot at deceleration. Alas, it was all for naught, because even before his feeble attempt to save his own ass, the cop flipped on the pretty blue lights, pulled BACK into the left lane, and followed Pickup Boy over to the shoulder. I never broke cruise control.

Am I gloating? Maybe a little, though I know for sure that I'll never be able to escape this hellish commute without at least ONE ticket (which I promise to 'fess up to when (if?) it happens). This experience does serve to confirm that I've picked a reasonable cruise setting,though, and that there is a bit of cosmic justice on the highways.


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